Thursday, July 24, 2008

Goodbye All

As far as lifetimes go, mine was a pretty interesting one. Although I am referring to it in the past tense, it's not quite over yet, just the best part.

My past is catching up with me. Parkinson's Disease has become a powerful and relentless adversary. It attacks me in different ways every day. I am tired of battling it.

The angina and coronary artery disease are, for the most part, under control, despite the fact I am smoking again -- my way of flirting with the final human act -- the one I almost welcome.

Gambling is once again a major activity. I practice it almost daily. It relieves the pain of, or at least takes my mind off of my physical ills for a little while.

I have successfully severed relations with those who once loved me -- daughters, ex-wives, other family members. I've lost contact with friends and acquaintances, some of whom wish they never were.

I have moved out of Indianapolis to a place I will not reveal. I am quite certain this will be my final independent residence. I am determined not to make any friends here. I have not even met my neighbors yet.

My positive contributions to the world may not outweigh my many mistakes and faults. But, for the most part, I have lived a life without malice and do regret my errors.

I have produced three daughters. The younger two have not communicated with me in several years. I tried to be the best parent I could be during their formative years. I hope they have been better parents still to my six grandchildren.

I had three wives. All of them were better to me than I was to them. The first marriage lasted two dozen years. You can count the length of the second two on the fingers of one hand.

Well, I guess I'll wrap this up before it begins to ressemble a pity party. That's not what it is intended to be. I've had a helluva life and wouldn't trade places with any of you.

I suspect this will be my last contact with you. I certainly am not asking you to reply and I will not respond to any replies. I do not intend to be a burden on anyone, so when I no longer can adequately care for myself, well, I'll take care of that matter when the time comes.

Goodbye all. Enjoy whatever time you have left. I certainly will endeavor to do the same.